Top Ten Virtual Play Date Ideas
Usually your kids have a lot of choice and control over what to do on play dates with their friends - but how does that translate when we can't play tag or hide and seek in person? How can we move our real world play dates to video and find creative ways to stay in touch with friends and relatives across the physical distancing?
Virtual playdates offer a good alternative to real-world play while we find ways to keep socially close but physically distant from our extended family and friends. You’ll find a variety of different video conferencing apps that can be useful for children and teens looking to hang out with friends and family in a virtual environment, and some of them have even been built specifically with kids’ safety in mind and parental controls on board. Although video playdates aren’t meant to replace face-to-face playdates in the long run, which are more valuable for kids, it’s important for their mental health to keep in touch with friends and reduce social isolation during quarantine.
Many pediatric therapists like myself are making a temporary switch to online tele-sessions so that the children and teens we usually work with in an office can get the support they need from the comfort of home. Play is so important for staying mentally and emotionally healthy when kids are in transition! Moving play activities to the screen can be a great way for kids to feel more connected with friends, family members, teachers, and helping professionals who are ready and willing to listen.
Research shows that children who bring their complicated emotions and anxiety into a safe, secure space where they can be seen and soothed (think of Tina Bryson and Dan Siegel's Four S's from The Power of Showing Up) can weather adversity and build resilience to get through crisis feeling strong. We see less behavior and more cooperation. Parents can provide this at home, too! But when parents are feeling the strain, worry, and uncertainty beneath the brave faces we put on for our kids, or the sheer amount of extra attention your child needs from you at home 24/7, it's helpful to keep our relationship going and show kids that we can make a transition to a new way. Changes can be okay with a little help from our friends and helpers!
Some kids want to talk and ask questions about Coronavirus or express their feelings of loss about parts of school and friendships they are missing, or vent about how different school feels now. Some kids are having an okay time with all of that, but are at loose ends and feeling bored of this already.
For many, a new way of doing school remotely means a lot of mental energy is being spent on paying attention to virtual teachers or navigating online learning management systems and factoring in self-study. I've been helping some kids to adjust to that change, keeping our sessions short ("I want to see Georgie but that means more screen talking after screen school... ugh...") to trouble shoot around the learning curve. Emotional well-being should be top priority for students right now. Expecting them to adjust and keep up with school at home should allow time for them to evolve. And play, and bake cookies, and take walks. Getting movement in each day is healthy on so many levels (better emotional balance, sensory integration, keeping fit, releasing stress and other pent up emotions). They still need a balanced plate for a healthy mind!
Instead of feeling stuck or waiting this out, I have been making a list of virtual play activities to keep our sessions going strong using video chat tele-play therapy. You can use them, too, for your child’s virtual play dates with friends and relatives across the miles.
Top Ten Suggestions for Virtual Play Dates
(Helpful Hints: Parents, feel free to share these ideas with kids to get creative juices flowing before the play date, so your child has time to think and digest or come up with their own games or projects to share. Test out the video conferencing app you’ll be using ahead of time. Do a practice run in different rooms of the house, for example. We want your app and the internet connection to be strong. Nothing more frustrating than just getting into a project with a friend and having the session time out!)
1) Hide and Seek: This one involves a parent or sibling to join in on your side of the play date. Parent (or sib) starts as the seeker and counts while you hide, taking your virtual play friend with you to your hiding place (via Facetime on your phone, for example). Your virtual play friend tries to stay very, very quiet to help you not get found! When it's your turn to count and seek, point your virtual play friend toward the room in case she can sneakily pick up on the direction your parent (or sib) is going to hide. Your friend can offer you hints. It's not cheating this time, it's just using technology to our advantage!
2) Emoji Invention: Using a video conferencing app like Zoom, you can open a chat box feature and try to create your own emoji pictures using letters and punctuation on the keyboard. Extra points for the funniest faces and pictures! I was recently told about Lenny Faces (https://lennyfacecopy.com/) in case you'd rather copy and paste some silly faces already made up by Lenny Faces. You can paste in different characters/faces and make your virtual play friend turn your pictures into a funny story!
3) The Great (Your Name Here) British Baking Show: With a parent as your assistant, prop up the web camera in the kitchen so your virtual play friend can be your studio audience as you whip up your favorite recipe. Perfect for grandparents to keep in touch and swap recipes with the grandkids! English muffin pizzas? Blueberry monster smoothie? Family size ice cream sundae with your favorite toppings? Make your audience totally jealous and wishing they had Smell-o-vision as you make a tantalizing treat.
4) Dance Move Revolution: Ask Alexa to play the song "It's Raining Tacos" and make up your own personalized raining taco dance. Choose a different song that you love if you want! Teach the basic steps to your virtual play friend while she props up the web camera so you can check she's doing it right. Check if she remembers the dance and can perform it on your next play date (Better practice, right?).
5) Doodle Guess: Grab some paper and markers for this one or use the Zoom app drawing board feature. You draw a picture of a person, place or thing with your eyes closed (no peeking!) while your virtual play friend doesn't look. You'll have about 10 seconds to draw a fast doodle. Hold your drawing up to the web camera and your friend has to guess what it is. Take turns drawing and guessing. You might laugh at how higgledy piggledy your drawing turns out when you can't see what you're drawing! Does it look anything like what you had in mind?
6) Plushie Mayhem: There are two ways to do this one using Facetime. First way involves a parent or sibling. Grab your favorite plushie, stuffy, or squishie and hide it somewhere in the house. Your parent or sib has to try and find it, decide whether you'll give a cryptic riddle hint or say “hot or cold” as they get closer. When you find it, you get a huge cuddle from the plushie! Second way: Get a group of several of your favorite plushies and arrange them in a scene as if they have taken over a room in your house and are causing mayhem! Build a survival fort for them in the living room, pretend they made messy PlayDoh cookies in the kitchen, or they are all sleeping in your bed kicking you out of it! Your virtual play friend can watch the plushies building or you can do it ahead of time and surprise your friend with the mayhem!
7) Nature Scavenger Hunt: This one needs some set up by Mom or Dad ahead of time. You and a parent decide on several items that can be hidden in the backyard (or any outdoor play space at home): this could be plastic Easter eggs, golden coins, colorful gems, shiny alphabet letters, toys, whatever you have. Parent hides the items in the backyard like an egg hunt. Make sure some of the hiding places are easy, and others that involve tricky climbing, jumping, or lifting. Your virtual play friend doesn't know where the eggs are, so bring him along as you hunt. Just be sure your internet connection travels that far!
8) Hello Neighbor: Think about something you can do to brighten the day of people who live in your neighborhood. Your virtual play friend can do some for their neighbors too as you work on this project virtually at the same time. Make simple notes that say "Hello! Hope you are having a great day!" or "If you need any help, let us know!" and deliver them (always with a parent for safety) to the porches or mailboxes of the people who live next door or across the street. If you don't have next door neighbors, you can make a small care package for a friend or family member and ask Mom or Dad to take it to the post office.
9) Cosmic Yoga: Use a video conferencing app that allows screen sharing (like Zoom) to screen share a video of Cosmic Kids Yoga for littles or Yoga for Teens on Youtube. Try some poses and make up your own! Have you done yoga before? Our bodies need to stretch. It feels amazing! If you haven't done yoga before it's fun to learn or giggle watching your friend (or grandma) trying to be a yogi.
10) Go Noodle, Are You More Like Sand or Dirt? Go Noodle offers hundreds of free game ideas and videos that explain how these "take a break, beat boredom, or just do for family fun" games work. Screen share the video for "Are You More Like Sand or Dirt?" (https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/are-you-more-like-sand-or-dirt) and gather your family as players for the game. Everyone stands in the middle of the room while your virtual play friend asks questions like "Are you more like a cat or a dog?". Players move to the left or right depending on how they answer and you'll see which members of your family are more like you. If it's just going to be you and your friend, one of you can ask the questions and compare which one you are more like (and why)!
